Don't forget your passport

It's almost Christmas! Okay, it's not even December for a few more hours, but it feels like Christmas. But this update starts wayyyyyyyyyy back at Halloween. So much to report!

We spent Halloween at our friend Kelly's new apartment. She made disgusting (yet delicious) snacks like dirt pudding with worms, edible eyeballs, and all kinds of other great things. Our "costume" was "NO ON 8" (plus I added some giant feather eyelashes, just for kicks).



The following weekend, our friends Betty and Tom drove up from Ramona for a weekend visit. We had a great time, since they share our passions: eating, drinking, and traveling. If only they were professional fly fishers! Brian would be in heaven. Anyway we covered a lot of ground while they were here.

We had dinner at our old favorite, Boa Steakhouse. We spotted this guy in a cozy corner booth! He looked a little less perturbed.



As usual, when it was time to order dessert, Brian got one for himself, and the rest of us split one! Betty, Tom and I had a mountain of raspberry cotton candy. Who pays $10 for cotton candy?! We do, I guess! Brian had a couple of decadent chocolate chip cookies.





We took a nice group shot outside after dinner.



The pic didn't include my new Wolford tights -- they are so cute, and I got such a GREAT deal on them (about 50% off, yeah baby), I really wanted to show 'em off -- so I took one myself. Oh, also those shoes are Pollini, marked down to $80 from $575 -- das right! The toes are scuffed so badly because I was texting while walking, and tripped on a parking hump. Lesson: Do not text while moving in any manner.



As if we hadn't spoiled ourselves enough, we had Sunday brunch at Gordon Ramsay's at the London West Hollywood. Ooooeeee, it was great. Yes, I said "ooooeeee"! The sommelier matched everyone's dessert to a specific wine, and they were all crazy good. We were going to drink a toast to our grapefruit coulis, but Brian couldn't wait and started in on his pear tart.



We did some dogsitting for our friend Kim -- we had Yeti (schnauzer) and Amber (shar-pei/pit bull mix). Thankfully Betty and Tom are dog-friendly because Amber drooled all over their bed! Otherwise, she was a doll, although she did eat a tennis ball and it was... uh... unpleasant when it made its way back out. As for Yeti, You may recall our beloved squirrels? Well they got Yeti's attention. But oddly enough, he didn't freak out and try to eat them.



Then came our anxiously awaited trip to MEXICO! Now, I have mentioned before that I am the best shopper EVER! Aside from my $1,375 Herve Leger gown for which I paid $35, this is my biggest coup: we got two nights at the utterly gorgeous Paraiso de la Bonita resort for a grand total of $47. Yes, we got change from a 50-dollar bill!! Normally the lowest rate, for the smallest room, in the off season, is $900. But we got a deal through a special promotion from Leading Hotels of the World, to celebrate the year of their founding (1928) -- thus $19.28 per night. But there was a maximum of two nights. Here's what we had to look forward to:



We had already planned a weekend in Nashville to see my family (they were planning to drive down from Lexington). So we tagged the Mexico trip onto this weekend. The day we were leaving for Mexico, Brian decided to start looking for his passport... and never found it!!!

What should I do?!?! Sacrifice the trip and stand by my man?! Go without him and pretend it was terrible, so he won't feel bad?! Uhhhh NO, no, no!! First I helped Brian turn over every single corner of our apartment looking for the passport, then I helped him figure out how to get an emergency passport, then I wished him luck and headed to LAX!

WOW!!! This place was PERFECT! The most beautiful, placid, quiet, relaxing place EVER! The staff was wonderful, the "junior suite" was terrific, the food was delicious, the weather was perfect, and the pool and ocean were just what I needed. The place was also very popular with iguanas, and they had parrots on staff to ensure I was awake by 8 a.m.



Iguana hanging out by the pool



Squeaky little parrot (everyone here says "Bix a bel!" which translates from Mayan to mean "how's your road?" but I couldn't get the parrots to say it!)



FINALLY Brian made it! He got his emergency passport, and arrived just in time to hang out in the pool, have dinner, and spend one night.



Dinner was absolutely excellent, here we are enjoying our lobster strips and filet mignon with foie gras (which Brian scraped off). Oh and if you're wondering why I'm so red -- well, the sunscreen there was $100! That is DOLLARS, not pesos! So I opted to fry.




What Mexican dinner would be complete without mariachis?! These guys were *excellent* -- they even had CDs for sale! Here's a very short little video clip for your listening enjoyment!





The next day we had snacks by the pool (though a big black bird stole a bunch of our chips!) and snorkeled. We saw a barracuda and an ENORMOUS snapper, but sadly, we don't have an underwater camera (yet).



Notice the bird with the chip in his beak! (Reminder, you can click on any picture on this blog to view it larger.)



Alas we had to leave the 90 degree sunshine of Mexico for the 36 degree haze of Nashville... but we had a great time there too!!

Here's a photo of Aunt Carmie, Dena, Kelli and Mom in front of the Opry Mills outlet mall. We might as well have slept on mall benches, because we spent a LOT of time (and some money too) here.



We also visited the beautiful Opryland Hotel. After 45 minutes of driving around looking for parking (I *refused* to pay $18 for self-parking), I cried uncle and paid even more to have the valet end the misery. He was nice enough to snap a photo of our whole gang.



While in Nashville, Dena and I celebrated the Steelers win by being weirdos.



We said goodbye outside of our hotel, and Brian helped my family smash their luggage into their car. Can you believe that even after stuffing every square inch of that poor Prius with newly purchased goodies, they stopped at the Zappos outlet on the way home and bought 14 more pairs of shoes?! Yes these are my people!!



I'll end this post with three important thoughts:

1. THANK YOU to all 56 (!!!) of our subscribers! We have friends all over the country and some around the world, and it makes us so happy to know that people are actually interested in keeping up with us. We read all of your blogs too (well, I do... I don't think Brian really cares that much about blogging. In fact, I think he oughta write some more of these entries, and if you agree, bug him about it!!) :-)

2. RIP, The Shield. You remain the absolute finest television program I have ever seen and I vow that I will continue to spread your gospel far and wide. And if Walton Goggins doesn't get a Best Supporting Actor Emmy, then they might as well stop giving them out. (I'd also like to suggest a new category, Best Supporting Supporting Actor, for David Rees Snell). People, if you have not seen this show, go rent it (starting from the very beginning) RIGHT NOW. If you don't like it, may I suggest instead the 7th Heaven box set?

3. If you are ever feeling down (like I was after the Shield finale), you can always revisit this blog to perk yourself up with some hot squirrel-on-squirrel action. Yeahhhhhhhhh....

And...

Remember a few posts back, I showed you the wildlife that inhabits the tree outside our balcony? Well Brian gave the little guy a nut.

Now we can't get rid of him! And he's getting aggressive!! AND he's bringing friends!!!




I'm a little scared he'll figure out how to get inside, but he's cute as long as there's a screen between us!

The last political post on this blog

Finally, finally, we're about to reach Election Day. I cannot wait for it to come and go. 24 hours from now we'll learn if we're moving forward in the right direction, or if I'm moving to Ireland!

I told my friends before any of the real heat began: don't talk to me about politics. I don't want to discuss it with people I love. And here's why: if I know your politics, there is a chance that my opinion of you will be affected. I'd rather that not happen with friends and family.

But this year is different. Nobody wanted to keep their opinions to themselves. Palin was a game changer. So now it's ALL fair game.



In the past few months, I have:
- Researched both sides until I've made myself sick
- Had daily arguments
- Had daily affirmations
- Made phone calls for Barack Obama
- Been flabbergasted at the ignorance I've encountered
- Been shocked at how many smart people fall for manufactured lies, rumors and fearmongering
- Been encouraged by other volunteers with sky high optimism
- Grown sick of "liberals" being used as a pejorative
- Pondered the benefits of conservatism
- Lost many hours of sleep!



And tomorrow I will intercept voters on their way to the polls to encourage them to vote NO on Proposition 8. Those who are voting yes will get my most heartfelt wishes that their ignorant, hateful, and/or closed minds will one day open.

I may or may not ever be a mother. I hope so. If I do, I will be able to look my kid in the eye and say I fought for what was right. And if my kid turns out to be gay, I will be able to say, not for one moment did I think of you as unequal. And I tried my heart out to defeat those who do. Sadly, the polls show we are losing this fight. Please, if you are in California, do the right thing and vote NO on Prop 8.

In case it isn't clear...

...we want Californians to vote NO on 8!!! This is CRITICAL and there is truly no good reason to vote yes on 8.

Please take 30 seconds to watch this.



For Halloween, we're thinking of going as "No on 8" -- just gotta figure out how. :-)

Dear Californians

I can think of exactly ZERO reasons to vote YES on 8. Well, I can think of a few that are filled with hate and inappropriate use of government. But otherwise, zero. Think about it.

Good stuff

Now, I don't really believe that if Obama is elected, we will no longer have hurricanes. But this is really well done, very funny and sad at the same time, and worth a watch!



It's the same actors as the original!!

Pretty cool!

My cousin does good.

I kept trying to embed this video but it refused to work. So I linked to it but it just takes you to a list of videos. Click "Single mom..."

18 days 'til Election Day, part 2

Okay, so where was I?

After Vegas, we had a visit from our friend TJ McFarland, who is a singer/songwriter living in Nashville and Oklahoma and wherever else he feels like. He performed here in LA (he's on the left in the hat) and next month will head to New York City, so if you're up that way, check him out at Arlene Grocery in November.



Apropos of nothing, here's a photo I took while driving. (In California, we aren't allowed to talk on our cell phones while driving, but paparazzi-ing is entirely acceptable.) I was trying to get a good shot of a GIANT dog in the backseat of a Rolls Royce. You can kind of see that. But you can also see a very cool pic of a palm tree in my side view mirror, a reflection of my car (a Volvo), a tiny peek at the Hollywood sign (okay, okay, it's Hollywood Video) and a beautiful LA day.



Then last week, it was my turn for a birthday. I cannot bring myself to type the age that I turned. Just forget about it, okay?! It is not important! Age is just a number! It's a state of mind! It's not how old you are, it's how young you feel! Oh whatever!!!!!!

Okay, so you all know how much I loved my cousin Samantha and how we shared this insane passion for designer clothes. Well one of the things she coveted was a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. I tried and tried to find her a pair that I could afford -- but they were offensively expensive.

So imagine my surprise when, on my birthday, I opened a box that Brian had carefully wrapped in multiple layers (he even wrapped the lid of the shoebox so I wouldn't see the brand), and there in all their SARTORIAL GLORY were a pair of shiny, gorgeous Louboutins -- this season's no less!!!! I about fainted. Here they are:



OH HOLY HELL I'm just KIDDING!!!! Come on! Not only are those NOT Louboutins, I think Louboutin himself spotted them and almost gave up shoe-making altogether. "Whot is zee point?!" he cried. But then he remembered that what he really did design is beautiful, precious, and splendid. Here they are for real:



So I'm going to wear them and toast Samantha (and M. Louboutin) every time I do.

Speaking of fashion, anyone want to buy some designer dresses?! I went to the Corey Lynn Calter sample sale (no dressing rooms, no returns!), bought a ton of great dresses, and discovered not even one of them fit me. These dresses retail for $250-400 but I got em each for $50-75. Small size 6. Email for more photos, 6 dresses total. Spread the word, I gotta get rid of these things, they taunt me daily ("Hey Dellapina, ya chunkster! I saw you eat that cookie. Why don't you try me on now, hmm???").



Help me sell these or you'll all be getting size 6 dresses for Christmas.

Still on the fashion subject, but transitioning to that oh-so-scandalous topic of politics... I can say without hesitation that my bright, intellectual, passionate cousin Samantha would have been mortified at the idea of Sarah Palin anywhere near the White House. I don't want to turn this into a political rant (last time I posted political comments on this blog, I could not get Katie Couric and the New York Times to stop calling me, and it really got annoying), so I will just say a few short words. Regardless if you love McCain, hate Obama, feel Joe Biden is jejune, or really, really want Alaska to secede (okay, scratch that last one), you have got to be bothered by the idea of Palin becoming President. Not that it's a sure thing... but it's a possibility. And there is no earthly way that person is ready to run the most powerful nation in the world. No. F*ing. Way. (sorry Mom, but at least I used an asterisk)

This is the Kooba bag that Samantha wanted with all her heart. She got it, then passed away before she could really use it much. So Aunt Carmie gave it to me. I carry it with pride every day. I've adorned it with Obama pins -- I'm not necessarily wildly in love with him, but I am so intensely anti-Palin, it was the best I could do. (Oh, and if you want to say, "well she's had more executive experience than any other candidate", go ahead, but I will counter by saying my dad was president of the Burgettstown Italian Club for like, 20 YEARS -- does that "executive experience" make him qualified to run the country? F*** NO!!! [sorry Dad - for the blasting of your POTUS ability, as well as the triple asterisks].) Being mayor of a tiny town with a meth problem does not a meaningful executive make.



I stole this picture off Darci's Facebook page and want to include it, in case you need a reminder of how beautiful Samantha is (and Dena and Darci are obviously babes in their own right).



Finally, I leave you with something cute. I need it to cleanse the palate after my Palin rant (oh before I forget, Brian anagrammed her name: "has anal rip" or "a plain rash"!!). Anyway I heard some noise outside my sliding door. I thought perhaps it was a thief, who scaled the trees and landed on my patio, trying to get at the valuable goods we store out there (like a rusty bistro set, a fetid cooler, two gigantic truck tires, and an empty bottle of Cholula). But no! It was this little guy.



See!? Los Angeles does have wildlife other than Lindsay Lohan! Come visit, our couch is very comfy and we'd love to see you.

18 days 'til Election Day

Hello family and friends. Hope you all had a good summer and are easing into Fall. People out here sometimes say they miss having seasons. Huh?! First of all, we definitely have seasons -- I had to wear long pants the other day! And second of all, would anyone REALLY miss snow?! C'mon. ;-)

Anyway we have no major news to report but here is a collection of crappe we've done over the past two months.

Brian turned 31! For his birthday he got a camcorder and a really nice dinner with me and his parents at Wilshire. Of course he had a steak. For dessert they served donuts!! And they were nice enough to swirl some chocolate on the plate, to form the words "Hogpy Boifoday" which is, I think, Polish for Feliz Navidad.



In case you hadn't noticed, a major theme of this blog is what (and how much) we EAT. Yeah, I try to diet all the time, but I fail frequently. We went to the Santa Monica BBQ Festival. They stamped Brian's hand as a signal to mean "do not serve this man any more meat, he has had more than 19 times the recommended daily allowance."



Brian has taken up the hobby of fly fishing with GUSTO. He ties his own flies (they are so cool, despite the massive amounts of feather debris that litters our dining room) and heads out to a nearby-ish river most weekends. In fact, that is where he dropped his IPHONE! Some fish somewhere is confused by the vibrating, colorful, inedible, alien disk. Here are some pics of Brian and his dad Jim fishing in Maryland.





In September we headed to one of my favorite spots, Las Vegas! And this was no ordinary trip to Vegas. See, for the previous couple of months, my "BFF" Katie's husband, Jamie, was working on a surprise trip for her 30th birthday. She knew she was going somewhere, she just didn't know where -- and she sure didn't know I was gonna be there too!

We had a ridiculous amount of fun, as evidenced by this photo of our first night in town. We chose to go the Cheesy But Hedonistic Tourist Route, and drank huuuge, steaming, tropical drinks at "Kahunaville." Lucky us, there was a "bartender flair" competition going on. Woo hoo, Tom Cruise in Cocktail!!



Poor KK had a toothache! That's okay, we discovered that with enough alcohol, you won't even FEEL your teeth anymore.



We had a fantastic dinner at Tao, where we received some VERY ominous fortunes.



And finally, one more big surprise for Katie -- tickets to see the Beatles LOVE Cirque du Soleil show. WHOA, it was fantastic! My cousins Nancy and Berni, my Aunt Deanna and my mom went in June and raved about it. So we checked it out and yes, it lived up to the hype. Here's a little sneak of what we saw -- this was during the song "Octopus's Garden" or as I call it "I'd like to be... under the sea..."



When we left the show, we were solicited by a photographer to buy INSANELY overpriced photos of ourselves. Feigning disgust, we stomped off... only to admit defeat and turn back around and buy them! They were just too nice -- big and glossy, and somehow, magically, they made Brian's shirt look like it was nice and pressed! Believe me, it reeeeeeally wasn't. Anyway I will try to scan it but for now, here's a pic of a pic (oh my goodness if that isn't the chintziest thing I've ever done on this blog...).



This post is getting WAY too long so I will continue in a moment, in a separate post!!

New blog post coming soon

But in the meantime, enjoy this.

Brian's predictions for this season of The Shield

I was not having a good day today. I was very upset, very, very worked up. See, I've stayed pretty quiet on political issues my entire life - some of my closest friends don't even know which way I lean. But McCain's VP pick is so horrible, so dangerous, so WRONG, I couldn't hold back anymore. I fueled the fire by reading every news site and blog I could find (BOTH sides), and what I discovered about her just upset me more. I know it sounds dramatic, but all day I felt like I was on the verge of tears (actually at one point, one dribble did kinda sneak out).

So then Brian comes along and sends an email to my mom (aka World's Most Addicted Shield Junkie), and cc's me, with his top 10 predictions for the final season (which started this past Tuesday). And I laughed so hard, I had the good kind of tears rolling down my face! So, Shield fans, enjoy. (CAUTION: for those who haven't made it past Season 5, stop reading or you'll get some MAJOR SPOILERS! Hilarious spoilers, but spoilers nonetheless.)


1. Dick Sackey will punch someone at some point during the season.
2. Cletus Van Damme will kill a third person who is a main character and have to go back home to Arkansas to live with his cousin/mother and nephew/grandpa.
3. Ronnie will have fewer lines than any other character.
4. Dutch Boy will have a three way with claudette and aceveda, and refer to it as the captains sando.


5. There will be a gang related incident.
6. The captain will reunite with Tenille and do a reunion concert with the One-Niners as the opening act.
7. Antoine Mitchell will get released for good behavior and become president of the United States.
8. Farmington will change its name to Charmington in a publicity stunt and once Antoine is elected president, Dick Sacky will then order a secession, becoming emperor of Charmington.
9. Lem's ghost will spread cheeks on Cletus Van Damme's face.
10. Ronnie will use a bazooka to destroy the public library after he finds out Cletus' illiteracy causes him to unknowingly sign a full confession for the Strike Team related to the money train.

As always, here for your enjoyment.

WARNING - it may not be safe to believe anything I have told you and I am not liable for any damages caused by you repeating anything that I have told you, no matter how stupid you may look as a result. Some side affects commonly experienced are headaches, flatulence, groaning, and occasionally some peed pants, which said person is not liable for repairing. In rare cases some readers have experienced bleeding eyes, and if this is happening to you, for petes sake, step away from the computer and find a doctor.